Let me guess… you’re a procrastinator and you’re hoping these funny, helpful, and inspiring quotes about procrastination will help you get on with the task at hand.
I get it. It can be hard to find focus. It’s easier to waste time on distractions. Put off all the things we were going to do today until tomorrow. Tomorrow will be one very busy day!
I’m just as much a connoisseur of procrastination as anyone. Unpleasant tasks left to one side in my inbox. Even important tasks! It takes a deadline such as “due tomorrow” to really get my attention if it’s something I just don’t want to do.
Hopefully, these procrastination quotes will help all of us get through those uncompleted tasks!
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Funny Procrastination Quotes
These quotes about procrastination are a lot of fun. If you have the bad habit of putting off making life changes for healthy living, important decisions, or essential jobs these funny quotes may spur you into action.
- “If it weren’t the last minute, nothing would get done.” ― Rita Mae Brown
- “Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot fun until you get the bill.” ― Christopher Parker
- “We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’” ― Ellen DeGeneres
- “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” ― Douglas Adams
- “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.” ― Robert Benchley
- “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” ― Jerome K. Jerome
- “Procrastinator? No. I save all my homework until the last minute because then I’ll be older, and therefore wiser.”
- “I think of myself as something of a connoisseur of procrastination, creative and dogged in my approach to not getting things done.” ― Susan Orlean
- “Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” ― Ellen DeGeneres
- “Someday is not a day of the week.” ― Janet Dailey
For those who love a Mark Twain quote, this next one is one of his best. It’s one of the most famous quotes about procrastination on the list.
- “Never put off until tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” ― Mark Twain
Put It Off To Tomorrow
Tomorrow is a theme that crops up frequently in funny procrastination quotes. Taking the first step of a fitness plan, starting instead of endlessly researching your novel, turning a good idea into a business venture…
That may not make much sense, but your current situation is familiar, even if it’s not ideal. Procrastination stops you from succeeding but it also stops change.
Deep down you could be afraid of what might happen if all your dreams become a reality. So we put things off until tomorrow. We’re sabotaging our chance of success.
- “Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.”
- “I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!” ― Sam Levenson
- “One of the greatest labor-saving inventions of today is tomorrow.” ― Vincent T. Foss
- “Anger is the only thing to put off till tomorrow.”
- “The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the man of every other calling, is diligence. Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today.” ― Abraham Lincoln
The Thief Of Time
Imagine how much time we’d have if we didn’t waste it on procrastination! All those minutes spent procrastinating add up into hours and even days.
We have limited time. Spend it focused on tasks and making decisions quickly. Thief of time is the subject of these procrastination quotes.
- “Procrastination is the thief of time” ―. Edward Young
- “My advice is, never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” ― Charles Dickens
- “Procrastination has been called a thief—the thief of time. I wish it were no worse than a thief. It is a murderer; and that which it kills is not time merely, but the immortal soul.” ― William Nevins
- “Procrastination is the thief of time; year after year it steals, till all are fled, and to the mercies of a moment leaves the vast concerns of an eternal state. At thirty, man suspects himself a fool; knows it at forty, and reforms his plan; at fifty chides his infamous delay, pushes his prudent purpose to resolve; in all the magnanimity of thought, resolves, and re-resolves, then dies the same.” ― Edward Young
Dealing With Easy Jobs And Easy Things
Procrastination can make even the easiest of tasks seem hard. Those uncompleted tasks are always there at the back of your mind preventing you from moving forward.
- “If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.” ― Olin Miller
- “Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.” ― Dale Carnegie
- “Putting off an easy thing makes it hard, and putting off a hard one makes it impossible.” ― George H. Lorimer
- “Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.” ― Mason Cooley
Procrastination Sayings About Regret
I love these procrastination sayings about the true value of time. Time spent procrastinating is time you can never claim back.
None of us have the luxury of endless time. The greatest amount of time spent on procrastination is time wasted on unimportant things. Lives filled with the regret of opportunities missed.
Loving life is about grasping opportunities and being brave enough to take the plunge. Not filling your life with regret because you were too afraid to chase your dreams. Learn from these procrastination quotes:
- “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ― Mark Twain
- “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” ― Pablo Picasso
- “You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again.” ― Benjamin Franklin
- “Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the ‘someday I’ll’ philosophy.” ― Denis Waitley
- “Procrastination usually results in sorrowful regret. Today’s duties put off until tomorrow give us a double burden to bear; the best way is to do them in their proper time.” ― Ida Scott Taylor
- “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.” ― Benjamin Franklin
Motivational Quotes For Getting Started
Sometimes all it takes to get through difficult and complicated tasks is to take the first step. Don’t wait until you’re in the right mood.
You want to get fitter but think it’s impossible, start by walking around the block. Afraid to start a home-learning course? Just try the first module.
Break down the complicated, almost impossible challenges into small units. The most important part of any activity is taking the first step.
Motivational Quotes About Procrastination
- “The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” ― Mark Twain
- “Following-through is the only thing that separates dreamers from people that accomplish great things.” ― Gene Hayden
- “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ― Anne Frank
- “Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can’t buy more hours. Scientists can’t invent new minutes. And you can’t save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you’ve wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow.” ― Denis Waitley
- “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” ― Abraham Lincoln
- “Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” ― William James
- “Doing just a little bit during the time we have available puts you that much further ahead than if you took no action at all.” ― Byron Pulsifer
- “Doing things at the last minute reminds us of the importance of doing things at the first minute.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo
- “The scholar’s greatest weakness: calling procrastination research.” ― Stephen King
Procrastination Quotes About Decisions
We don’t just procrastinate about starting tasks, we also delay making important decisions. Failing to make a decision often has a far worse outcome than making the wrong decision.
Give your decisions appropriate attention, but always make a choice. We procrastinate because deep down we know the decision we’re expected to take is wrong.
Don’t let other people’s expectations cloud your judgment. It’s your life. Make sure you’re making the decisions that affect it. The choice has to be right for you.
Sometimes we’re just sweating the small stuff. Decisions that are unimportant such as what to wear to work today.
Choose the wrong outfit and make a minor fashion faux pas. Taking so long making the decision that you’re late for work has far more serious implications. Practice making small decisions quickly.
- “In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
- “When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.” ― William James
- “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” ― Abraham Lincoln
A Different View Of Procrastination
Sometimes we procrastinate because we know we’ve taken on too much. If overwork is the issue, take time to slow down. Be mindful of the things you do every day.
If your life is a constant stream of endless tasks with no let-up and time for self-care, you could be procrastinating for a good reason. Work on ways to reduce stress.
- “Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.” ― Ellen DeGeneres
And Finally… A Few More Funny Procrastination Quotes
If you’re a dedicated procrastinator, at least revel in some humor.
- “Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.”
- “When all is said and done, more is said than done.” ― Lou Holtz
- “Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.” ― Don Roff
- “Procrastination always gives you something to look forward to.” ― Joan Konner
If you’ve found this post helpful, you may enjoy my other healthy living-related articles:
- 15 Ways To Stay Self Motivated (Ideas For Personal Inspiration)
- Practical Steps To Living A Life You Love
- 47 Quotes About Procrastination (Funny, Helpful, And Inspiring)
- 16 Ways To Reduce Stress You Can Try Right Now
- Loving Life (Start With These 7 Positive Steps)
- 8 Habits Of Successful Women (Who Reach Their Goals)
- Sleep Well At Night (With These 12 Proven Habits)
- How To Stop Overthinking Everything (And Start Living Instead)